Isabella's Last
by For Shadowed
Summary: Isabella's last words to the Cullen's. More specifically, Hale. Bella writes a letter to the last person that any one would expect. A certain Jasper Whitlock is who Bella is writing to. Co-written with Sarzash-LoveTheIrish
1. Dear Jasper

***Stephenie Meyers Owns***

_"Jacob didn't want to be a part of this..._

_cult. I don't understand what could change him."_

_He stared at me, his face frightened. _

"I don't want to be next."

- Quil

New Moon

**- Bella POV -**

_Dear Jasper,_

_I do not blame you for what happened on my birthday. I now know what happened, that it wasn't your fault in the least. _

_Edward... You were trying to protect me from him. It just didn't turn out the way that it should have. _

_It was Edward who was overcome by the smell of my blood, overcome by his inner beast. I do not blame him either. I knew what I was getting into when I first met the family. I still understand, even when you and everyone has left me. _

_You're probably wondering why I am writing this letter to _you_. I have no answer for that, except to say..._

_By the time you get this letter, I will no longer be here. I can't live by myself. I am weak. I'm to weak to continue on. Please do not blame yourself. It is not your fault. You tried your best, and everyone expects the worst out of you. They must protect you, just like how I was protected. Well, no longer._

_I have decided that, since everyone has left me, I am unwanted. I understand why Edward left. Who would love such a _plain _looking _human_? I do not regret the time I spent with you, if only for a few fleeting seconds. I wish I could have told you all of the things that were going through my mind, and ask you one question... I knew what the answer would be, but I do not regret what I feel. _

_Before I end this, I want to tell you something._

_I fell in love with you Jasper Whitlock. _

_When I first met you, I was intrigued by your beauty. I could tell you were different, more so that the others. I noticed the scars. They told of your great battles and how you _survived_. Edward and every other boy, man, male paled in comparison to you. I didn't get to spend time with you because you were _'dangerous'_. I scoffed at them. I did not see the danger in you. All I saw was the compassion that you should, the courage that you showed every day by going against what is natural. I loved your interest in the war that you fought in so bravely. Your passion affected me greatly, so much. _

_The first time I laid my eyes on you, I was breathless. I immediately knew that you were different. I could tell that, no matter what, I could believe in you. And I have not changed. _

_That is my reason for this letter that is written only for you. Do not blame yourself, please. _

_Love,_

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_September 13th, 1987 - _

_October 31st, 2005_


	2. To The Beginning

_*Stephenie Meyers Owns*_

_Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red_

_blood pulsing out of my arm --_

_Into the fevered eyes of six suddenly ravenous _

_vampires. _

_- Bella Swan_

_New Moon_

**-Jasper POV-**

_**October 31**__**st**__**, 2005 **_

_**2:47 P.M. **_

…_57… 58… 59… 60. _

_2:48 P.M._

Inhale…

Sigh.

1… 2… 3…

_Buzzzz…… Buzzzz……_

I slowly awakened from my daze, reaching into my pocket for my vibrating phone. _Who could it be?_ My eyes continued to look forward, not looking to see who was calling me. I could see that it was mid-day; I could hear the bird's singing right outside the window; the white walls that surrounded me seem to taunt me; I could hear them whispering, taunting me on how I was so _close _to tasting her finally.

I felt myself being sucked down, the phone still buzzing. I fought like I never had before, not even when I was first changed. I _could not bear _to see her terrified face when she witnessed me for who I really was.

No matter how hard I tried, I was sucked down, my beasts' laughter blaring into my ear. I could feel his glee at my terror, his claws sinking further into my flesh dragging me down into the abyss.

_-Flashback-_

_The living room in our house looked as if a clown had ingested 50 different kinds of colors and decided to throw up everywhere. Pink confetti littered the floor, while red flowers decorated the tables and walls. A green and white banner occupied most of the space, with yellow, blue, purple, and a couple rainbow colored balloons tied to the ends. The outside was no better. The last time I checked, the driveway was covered in lanterns, lighting the way until it finally reached the front door, which stood wide open. Alice raced in and out, trying to get everything perfect before Edward brought Bella over, which would be in six minutes. _

_I laughed to myself quietly, knowing that Bella would not want to see what we had created. I could already feel the embarrassment rolling off of her in waves. She would not like the presents that we had gotten for her either. I tried to control my wife, I really had. But there is no way to control my pixie when she has her mind set on it. I've always loved that about Alice. She is like a fire cracker; she just packs a bigger punch. _

_I felt Alice's excitement from outside, causing me to stand up and want to giggle like a little girl.I almost did before I heard Edward, whisper to low for Bella to hear, "Why resist? I'd be sure that we would all get a kick out of it." I lightly growled, and told him to fuck off. _

_I could already tell that Bella was nervous, anxious, and bewildered. I laughed to myself, wondering how she would like our present. I became nervous then, wondering if she would hate it. _

_Alice appeared beside me, right before Bella and Edward stepped through the front doors. Edward was radiating happiness and love from every pore of his being. Bella was the exact opposite. When her eyes landed on the destruction of the Alice tornado, shock was the only emotion. Her eyes wandered to the banner, the flowers, and then the colorful confetti littered everywhere. I even noticed some in Bella's hair, but I did not tell her. I thought it was pretty funny, but I was wondering how the hell it even got _into _her hair. _

_Alice charged Bella and hugged her in a vice grip, making Bella grin openly and love swelled in her. That emotion is always present in her. It surprised me to no end for someone to have love as a constant emotion, and to feel such love for us. As if we were family. _

_I was brought out of my musings when Bella squeaked out, "Emmett, crushing… me!" _

_Emmett had proceeded to scoop her up into a hug, squeezing a little on the tight side, but he immediately let go and lightly set her on the floor. Embarrassment, and then an apology with a slight smile and he was easily forgiven. _

_She went around and gave everyone a hug, besides me. I was upset that she hadn't given me the privilege, but I understood why she did not want to come near me. Apology was written all over her face, but I just gave her a small smile, trying to tell her that I understood and that it was fine. Her smile in return was like dawn, when the sun first rises in the sky, bringing life and the beginning of a brand new day. Beautiful. _

_I watched as Alice danced over to Bella and led her to the cake, which only Bella would eat, and the presents. The cake was too big for Bella, and she soon voiced my thoughts aloud, which caused Edward to laugh, Alice to smirk, and I to grin. _

"_You could always take the rest home and share it with Charlie." Alice stated, getting Bella to smile again. _

_We finally got to the presents, which is when Emmett snuck out to install Bella's present, which was the car radio, so that there was no way she could take it back. I don't think she say Emmett leave, but I was proven wrong when she asked where he went. _

_I didn't hear the reply that was made up, because I was too excited to see what reaction she made when she noticed that the box was empty. Her confusion when she figured it out was endearing, but hilarious at the same time. Her face screwed up in confusion, which made lines come out of her for head and her lips to turn down. I cracked a small smile at how funny she looked. When I told her why there was no object in the box, she said loudly, "Thank you Emmett!" Emmett's laughter answered her._

_She continued on to her next present, and at the time I hadn't noticed that I had crept closer to her, and Esme explained that it was from her and Carlisle. When she slid her finger under the paper, the worst thing that could have happened, happened. _

_I watched as she dropped the present, and held her finger up to her face. I heard her speak, but the smell of her blood clouded my vision. I instantly held my breath, forcing my monster back down and locking him behind bars. _

_Wave after wave of thirst pounded at me from all angles, slowly resolving my resistance. I watched Bella, red tinted edges slowly growing until they nearly consumed my vision. I watched as she stuck her finger into her mouth, which only caused me to want her blood more. _

_The beast broke free when Edward's thirst crashed into me, as if it was a typhoon. It nearly knocked me senseless with its force, but I clung on dearly, because if I did not, I _would _kill Bella. _

_I watched, terrified, as Edward slowly turned toward her, knowing what he was going to do. Before I could think through what was the most stupid idea in my entire life so far, I charged him._

_Now that I look back, I know what it must have looked like. As if I was trying to get to her. And that was part of it, because my beast had claimed her. _Mine. _Over and over, that word continued to replay while I charged him and Bella. _

_He was immediately on alert, and pushed her. She went sailing through the air, crashing into the table, and fresh blood spilled out. I growled. How dare he touch her! She was mine! Black and red clouded my vision, the only person I could see was Edward, crouching in front of her, a snarl etched over his features. A challenge to me; a challenge just shouting at me, _See if you can.

_I easily dodged the obstacles, nearly making it, when I was yanked back. I turned and snapped my teeth at Emmett, trying to make him see what I saw so clearly. _I was not the threat! _He tightened his grip on my arm, while Carlisle wrapped his hand firmly around my other arm. I was outraged. The threat was standing right over Bella, smiling at me while I was withheld. _

_I looked over at her, and saw her eyes. What I saw their knocked me breathless. Fear. She was afraid of _me. _In her eyes, I was the monster, not Edward. Tears leaked down her face, staining her cheeks with lines. She was deathly pale, her eyes to wide, but she looked right at me. I cringed away from her, seeing the accusation in her eyes. They screamed at me, _beast! Monster! _I saw my reflection in her eyes. I could see my beast peaking out, my hair fling around me, my teeth bared. I truly fit the part of a vampire._

_I allowed myself to be dragged out of the house, wanting to get away from those eyes. _

I swam up from the darkness, my beast struggling with me the entire way. I flipped the phone open quickly; my eyes wide open, trying to get away. I failed miserably, as the movie played over and over, stuck in replay for eternity.

"Hello." I stated, while the monster started to drag me back under.

"…_Jasper." _

I was silent, because I knew this voice. An ache started in my chest, expanding until it felt as if I was drowning, even if I did not need to breathe. This was an emotion pain, which I knew could not harm me… physically. "Alice," I whispered, "Why did you call?"

_2:49 P.M._

She did not speak for what felt like years, but I knew it was only a few seconds. _"Jasper… Please, you have to help her. You have to!" _Desperation was laced so strongly into her voice that I instantly sat up, my nightmare stopping right when I dove at her… Bella.

"Save who, Alice." I already had a pretty good idea who it was, but I wanted her to say the name. The name that haunts me everywhere that I go.

"_Bella! Please, please, you must go." _Her sobs echoed through the phone.

"Alright, but why must I go," I sighed in resignation, "She won't want to see me Alice." I rummaged through my cupboard, searching for my keys.

"_You won't get there in enough time by car. Just run. You'll know when you get there. Please hurry." _The dial tone announced that the conversation was apparently over, and I was left standing outside with the phone still pressed to my ear.

I slowly flipped the phone shut, and tried to remember in which direction I was supposed to go. My phone buzzed from my hand, showing that I had a text. I flipped it back open and read the text.

_North West. 4 hours._

I turned to the right and ran.

_2:50 P.M._

...........................

_**-Four Hours Later-**_

_7:00 P.M._

I had reached Bella's house minutes ago, but I couldn't bring myself to enter. Something was repelling me, something foreboding. The house still looked the same. The house was still white, the grass looking a little less green than last time, but it was almost winter. Of course it would be like this. I could hear no heart beats, and I could smell no blood either. Bella's scent was fresh, but it was mingled with a vampires. I inhaled, trying to place if I knew her. I could tell it was female, because of the sweet smell rolling around.

I bristled as the recognition washed over me, bringing back memories of James, and his sadistic games. _Victoria._ She was here. Flashes of her ran through my head, her laugh echoing light a sadistic clown on hallucinates. But I had no idea if she had Bella or not.

I stood there outside of Bella's window, right underneath her tree. Victoria's scent lingered her the strongest, and as I climbed further up, I could tell that she had been here not long ago. At least 30 minutes had passed since she was last here. I had _just _missed her.

I noticed that Bella's computer was on, but I could not see what was on the screen because it was facing away from where I crouched. Clothes scattered across the floor, and I knew for a fact that Bella was not a messy person. She loved cleanness, she loved to be organized. What I saw in her room was the exact opposite. It did not look as if a kidnapping or murder had occurred, but I knew how Bella was. If she could protect Charlie, she would.

I growled in anger, shaking as the scene that had probably happened reeled in front of my eyes…

_I could see her, hiding behind the branches of the tree, standing only like my kind could. She stared intently into Bella's window, even though I could tell she was not in her room. _

_I watched silently as Bella walked into her room, toweling her hair as she shuffled toward her computer. I watched as she waited patiently for her computer to boot up, walking toward her dresser. She riffled through a couple of drawers, finally choosing on an outfit. _

_The ding from the computer signaled that it was ready for use. Victoria leaned closer to the window as Bella passed right in front of her, unaware of the danger that was right beside her. _

_I watched, enraged that I could do nothing to stop this carnage, as Victoria whipped Bella's window open and crawled in. I saw Bella's face, watched as confusion, hope, recognition, and finally terror ran across her face. She stumbled backwards, tripping over her comforter that was foolishly left on the floor._

_Victoria's laughter sounded throughout the small room, making it seem louder, more sinister. She stalked forward, gliding along. She easily stepped over the chair that Bella had knocked over in her haste to escape. _

_I found myself standing next to Bella, and we both watched helpless as the bitch from hell continued toward her. Bella whimpered, crawling backwards, trying to get as far away from her as she could. She came to a halt when Victoria appeared in front of her, reaching out quickly and snagging the front of her night shirt. _

_Even though I knew that it was useless, I charged Victoria. I ran right through her, and landed right beside Bella. Her eyes were wide and fearful. It was just like what happened at her birthday, except there was no one her to save her this time. _

_I watched helplessly as Victoria taunted Bella, before hitting her. _

_Bella's head snapped to the side, and slumped down. It was like she was a puppet and all of her strings were cut at once. I cringed as her head hit the floor, her eyes rolling into her head. _

_I watched as Victoria messed up her room, making it look as if Bella had run away. She scattered clothes everywhere, and she gathered all items that might be needed at hid them. _

_I growled when she picked Bella up, throwing her over her shoulder, and jumping through the window. I tried to follow the bitch, but…_

The roar of an engine turning down the street had me jumping down from the window and running behind the house waiting to see who it was.

Charlie pulled into the driveway, apprehension hanging around him like a cloak. When he stepped out of his car, he looked like my family. Dark circles under his eyes, looking as if he hadn't slept in months. He looked haggard. Shock was my only emotion.

I watched as he slowly made his way into the house, dragging his feet along as if he didn't want to go inside. I did not feel any surprise from him as he noticed that the lights were off, only dread as he unlocked the door.

I listened to his footsteps as he hung his coat and gun holster up, and then continued into the house turning on lights as he went. I heard him call Bella, but I knew there would be no answer. I followed his progress by his footsteps as he reached her door, knocking twice before opening the door quietly.

I felt his shock when he noticed that she was not in her bed. Instead of being worried, he seemed to be… Excited?

What kind of father would be excited when his daughter is obviously missing? What had she been like to elicit this kind of response? So many scenarios ran through my head, the next worst than the last.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt a shot of panic, and then it rose until anxiety and horror mixed with it making me want to run as far as I could. But I knew I couldn't, because I made a promise to Alice and I needed to know what happened to Bella.

He thundered down the stairs, and rushed out the front door, dialing into his cell phone frantically.

"_Hello! This is Bella Swan, and you've reached my voicemail. I'm so sorry that I missed your call, but I'll get back to you…" _Her voice droned on after I stopped paying attention. I barely registered Charlie's frantic voice as he sped out toward the center of town, spraying rocks.

When I could no longer hear his heart, I ran through the door, which he foolishly left open, and raced up to where it all started. Bella's room.


	3. What?

_**Music that helped create this chapter**_**: **_Halo__ by Beyonce, Lollipop by Framing Hanley, Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson , Papercut by Linkin Park, Shawty Like a Melody in My Head by Iyaz._

_***Stephenie Meyer Owns***_

_That's when I heard the noise that must have _

_wakened me in the first place._

_Something sharp scraped along the length of my window_

_with a high-pitched squel,_

_like fingernails against the glass._

_- Bella Swan_

_New Moon_

**-Jasper POV-**

Bella's room looked worse than it did from outside of her window.

I now noticed what I had not before; Scratches running along the floor, the bed slightly off center, a dent against the wall. I knew how it had happened, and it enraged me further. I was too late. I knew that, if I was too late to save her, I would spend the rest of my undead life beating myself up for it.

If only I hadn't questioned Alice on _why _I had to go back to Forks; If only I hadn't taken so long to answer the phone; _if only I did everything differently. _

But I could not change what had happened. All I could do now is find Bella, rip that bitch's head off, and return her back to her father. I would not fail. I had never failed before, and I would not start right now.

My phone buzzed within my pocket, and I quickly reached for it. I was too preoccupied with what I was reading to notice the person staring at me through the window.

_Look under bed, note for you – Alice_

I was puzzled, why would there be a note for me? I knew that the only person who knew I was here was Alice, and there was no way that she would be here. I checked Edward off of the list, because he wasn't even in the United States anymore. He also would have never thought that I would be in Bella's room, let alone her house. Who else would it be?

My phone buzzed yet again, and I knew who it was from even before I read the message.

_From Bella, read. – Alice_

Bella wrote me a note? Why would she do that? To curse at me for all that I did on that day. I would surely deserve it if that was what the note was about. I would accept it with open arms.

Before I could put my phone away, my phone beeped yet again. I quickly read through it, and growled in irritation.

_Charlie is going to be there in 5, hurry up – Alice_

I rushed over to Bella's bed; her scent masked my Victoria's, and whipped her bed clear off the floor. I noticed the note that Alice told me about immediately. Scrawled across the top in messy writing, was my name. _Jasper Whitlock._

I reached down slowly, fear my only emotion. Then anger rose and covered the fear. I fought newborns! I, Jasper-fucking-Whitlock, am not afraid of a piece of paper! I snatched the paper from the floor, standing straight up and letting the bed crash to the floor. I felt stupid for it afterwards, but I also felt relieved. I was no longer that angry, at least not enough to go eat some humans.

I now stood looking at the note. I was yet again afraid to open the piece of paper. And yet again, I was angry and had to pep talk myself into opening it. I was pathetic. Whatever Bella decided to write to me, I deserved it one hundred percent. _Yea, keep telling yourself that. _

I was just about to open it, when the sound of a car pulling into the driveway and my phone buzzing like crazy alerted me. _Shit!_

I started to climb out the window when _their _smell hit me like a freight train. _Werewolf._ Of course Bella would feel too bored with normal life, so she goes after the next mystical creature. It was so much like Bella that I couldn't help but smile. I quickly sobered when I heard them, _"Vampire."_ They knew I was here, and I had to get out of here before they noticed where the vampire was.

I dove out of her window, landing lightly on the ground. I spun away from the house and ran to the closes part of the woods. Which I reached in under two seconds. I did not think they had noticed me, but I still ran as if Hades himself was after me. I did not stop until I reached Canada.

I looked around and noticed that I must be right outside of Dawson Creek. I could see the town, and it looked to be about 15 miles west of me. I could clearly see children playing around, parents watching them, smiling. My dead heat ached within my chest, a feeling I was starting to call my friend. I knew why my chest ached. It was because I missed my family, even though I knew that my mother and father were long dead by now. But I still worried about how they took my disappearance, if they had grieved for my loss.

The crinkling of paper reminded me that I had still not read what Bella had written me. I again wondered why she had.

I slowly opened the letter, dread flowing through me. What I read shocked me.

_Dear Jasper,_

_I do not blame you for what happened on my birthday. I now know what happened, that it wasn't your fault in the least. _

_Edward... You were trying to protect me from him. It just didn't turn out the way that it should have. _

_It was Edward who was overcome by the smell of my blood, overcome by his inner beast. I do not blame him either. I knew what I was getting into when I first met the family. I still understand, even when you and everyone has left me. _

_You're probably wondering why I am writing this letter to _you_. I have no answer for that, except to say..._

_By the time you get this letter, I will no longer be here. I can't live by myself. I am weak. I'm to weak to continue on. Please do not blame yourself. It is not your fault. You tried your best, and everyone expects the worst out of you. They must protect you, just like how I was protected. Well, no longer._

_I have decided that, since everyone has left me, I am unwanted. I understand why Edward left. Who would love such a _plain _looking _human_? I do not regret the time I spent with you, if only for a few fleeting seconds. I wish I could have told you all of the things that were going through my mind, and ask you one question... I knew what the answer would be, but I do not regret what I feel. _

_Before I end this, I want to tell you something._

_I fell in love with you Jasper Whitlock. _

_When I first met you, I was intrigued by your beauty. I could tell you were different, more so that the others. I noticed the scars. They told of your great battles and how you _survived_. Edward and every other boy, man, male paled in comparison to you. I didn't get to spend time with you because you were _'dangerous'_. I scoffed at them. I did not see the danger in you. All I saw was the compassion that you should, the courage that you showed every day by going against what is natural. I loved your interest in the war that you fought in so bravely. Your passion affected me greatly, so much. _

_The first time I laid my eyes on you, I was breathless. I immediately knew that you were different. I could tell that, no matter what, I could believe in you. And I have not changed. _

_That is my reason for this letter that is written only for you. Do not blame yourself, please. _

_Love,_

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_September 13th, 1987 - _

_October 31st, 2005_

In all of my years of being undead, I had never been surprised. But I now was. A human girl had managed to surprise a 161 year old vampire. Of course, Bella always was unpredictable.

The words finally sunk in, and all I could think was _Bella loved me?_ My beast purred at the thought, as if he was happy that she loved me. _Loves us, you mean. _I snarled at him to be quiet. Of course she didn't love me, I concluded, she is just confused. He laughed at my stupidity, as I continued to think over the letter.

_**I am so sorry for my long absence. My school work crashed over me, and I finally got my computer four days ago. My WHOLE memory base was erased, and I don't remember what I had typed for this chapter originally, but I know that it was my favorite out of my other chapters. **_

_**I apologize again, and you can call me whatever you want. I probably deserve everything that you guys have to say. **_


	4. Desperation

_**Music that helped create this chapter: **__The Pretender_ by Foo Fighters,_If Everyone Cared_by Nickleback_, __Jumper_ by Third Eye Blind_, __Remember the Name_by Fort Minor_, __Halo_ by Beyonce, _She Talks to Angels_ by Black Crowes.

***Stephenie Meyer Owns***

"_The clouds I can handle, _

_but I can't fight with an eclipse."_

_-Jacob Black_

_New Moon_

**-Jacob POV- **

**October 31****st****, 2005**

**6:24 P.M.**

The smell of fresh rain always helps me relax. And that is exactly what I needed right now.

Trees rushed passed me in a blur, my paws thudding against the forest floor. I could sense critters running, trying to get out of my path. They could sense that I am a dangerous creature, and that they needed to run from me.

A rustling of wings from above me alerted me that there was a bird above. I continued onward, trying to rid myself of this awful feeling. But I knew that I could not.

I couldn't be around her. It would only result in pain, so much pain, for both me and Bella. _Bella. _I pictured Sam's mate, how she looks. Three scars across her face, and she will forever be stuck like that. Until the day she dies all because Sam had a lapse in control. I do not want that to happen to the girl that I love. I wouldn't forgive myself if I was the reason that Bella was hurt, or _killed. _

I love her so much, and I knew that we could have been together. I pictured us as a family, years from now. Our children running around, all of them so beautiful. Bella laughing while she cooked dinner. Her running around trying to catch our children; her belly bulging with our child. I could see it so clearly, that I could taste our happiness.

But I just had to have the genes to turn into a huge wolf, and be forbidden to tell her _why _I had to break my promise. I _never _wanted to hurt her, but I did anyways, and all because of this horrible curse. Anger grew within me, and I felt full with it. I felt as if I would explode; I had to let it out some way, and it ended up being a tree that I singled out.

I ran full speed and crashed into it, shaking the whole tree. I heard things snapping, and then it started to slowly tip backwards. I continued to attack it, ripping, biting, tearing, anything that I could do to release all of this anger, _hatred, _which was still growing inside of me.

It crashed onto the forest floor, making a tremendous crash that shook the entire forest within a mile of where I was at. The screeching of birds, the sound of animal feet running away from me filled my senses. _That's right, _I thought to myself, _run away from me. I'm a beast, a horrible monster. At least you can get away, _I thought in jealousy.

I ripped into tree after tree, but nothing seemed to help.

I could clearly remember what Bella looked as I talked to her earlier…

_-Flashback-_

_I knew that Bella called every day, wanting to talk to me and I wanted, no _needed, _to speak to her. I wanted to make sure that she was doing all right. But I am forbidden to speak to her. I knew that she was having nightmares again, because Charlie called and spoke to my dad saying that she wakes up screaming _again.

_It has been three weeks since I have seen or spoken to Bella. It's slowly tearing me apart. _

_Sam has forbidden me from telling Bella why I cannot hang out with her any more and I hate him for it. But he is also helping me through the shock and anger of what I have become. _

_My brothers and I were patrolling in the woods, about two miles away from my house. The feeling of my paws touching the ground and digging in to grab purchase, to make me travel ground that much quicker, was my all time favorite thing about being a monster. Then I thought about Bella, and… I heard the rumble of an engine. I recognized it immediately, because only she would have our truck. Happiness filled me suddenly, and all I could think about was racing toward where Bella was at. _She came to see me.

"_I wouldn't do it, Jake," Embry thought from beside me, "You know what Sam will do." _

"_Actually, I think that it is perfect that Bella is here," The pack leader padded around the corner of a tree, "You can tell her face to face that your 'friendship' is over." _

_I growled at him in anger, "I won't do that. It will break her all over again!"I challenged him right in front of one of my pack brothers. I knew this would not end well for me, but I needed to see Bella. _

"_You will do what your pack leader tells you," Sam's growled back, his voice timbre. His answer shook me so deep, all the way to my core and all because he had control over me. The voice of the Alpha male brought me to the ground in humiliation. _I'm too pathetic to even take my rightful place in the pack._ It is my rightful place to be pack leader, but I didn't want to be any more of a monster then I already was. _

_I bowed my head in a submissive move, but I was anything but submissive. I cursed him with my whole being, wishing that I was strong enough to break from his hold. _

_I could feel the pride and victory pouring off of Sam, thinking that he had won, but I knew that I would find a way around his order, even if it was the last thing that I did. _

_I padded back toward my house, where my heart was sure to break. _And where Bella's will too_, I reminded myself. "It must be done, for her safety." Sam spoke, his mate flashing in my mind. I shuddered violently, imagining Bella with the same scars on her face. All because of what I could do, if I lost it for even one second. _

_I phased back to my human body, the breeze chilling me. I missed my hair, because Bella loved my hair long. But I needed it cut so that I didn't look like an over grown puff ball. The image of myself as a poof ball in my wolf form made me chuckle, if only for a second; anything to take my mind off of what I was going to do. I pulled on my spare shorts that I kept tied around my ankle. I trudged the rest of the way home._

_My dad sat out back, waiting for me probably. My suspicion was confirmed when he waved at me, signaling for me to go where he is. _

"_Bella is out front, you must tell her to not come over here ever again." My father said, no 'hello's' or 'How are you's?' Just straight to the point, and I hated him in that moment. The feeling quickly passed, the void filled with despair. _

"_I know, that's why I'm back home early. Sam ordered me to end it with Bella." My dad's eyes filled with understanding, but I knew that he still wanted me to do exactly what Sam had ordered me to do. _

_Sam, and my pack brothers, walked out of the dense forest tree's that surrounded my house and stalked up to the back porch. I looked at all of my brother's faces, and all were the same; determination. They would not show me any mercy. They agreed wholly with Sam's judgment. _

_I breathed in deeply, threw my shoulders back, and walked towards my death. Metaphorically, of course, but it would feel the same. Either way, I was losing the love of my life. _

_I made my way to the front, seeing the car that I gave to her. I faintly registered that she had kept it in shape, but the thought faded away just as quickly as it had come. _

_I silently walked up to Bella, who was doodling on a piece of paper. She was drawing diamonds across the very top of the paper, and I was mesmerized by her. I didn't want to interrupt her; she looked beautiful, even though I couldn't see her whole face. _

_Her hair was lit up underneath the ray of the sun, the side of her face that I could see was flawlessly white without any blemishes. Her cheeks were rosy; I didn't want to break this picture. She was so relaxed looking. Her feet were propped up on the dashboard, _She has tiny feet_, I thought to myself, her hands were steady, making perfectly straight rows of diamonds. _

_I heard my pack walk up behind me, and knew that I had to do it now. Or else I wouldn't like what Sam would do. _

_I rapped against her door with my hand, putting on my mask to make her believe that I was serious with what I was going to say. _

_When she looked up at me, from underneath her lashes, everything seemed to stop. Every tie that I had ever had with anything before, snapped and wrapped around this goddess that sat before me, surprise flickering in her eyes. Probably wondering who I was, I thought to myself, still trying to figure out what this feeling was. _

_It was nothing that I had ever felt before, especially not with any other girls that I had met. Not even with Bella. _

_I stood silent for I don't know how long, until I spoke harshly, "What are you doing here, Bella?"_

_I saw the hurt flash through her eyes, and something deep inside of me cringed at the look on her face. I knew that this would hurt, but not as much as it was right then. _

_I watched as she looked me over, to my shorned hair to my tattoo on my left arm, marking me as the monster that I am. I watched in satisfaction as her eyes roamed over my chest, her eyes lingering for a little longer than necessary, but my beast within purred in… Possessiveness. My beast, and I, loved how Bella looked at us, as if we were hers. _

_When she spoke, her voice was shaking, "Jacob?" _

_I watched as she noticed who stood behind me, shock and recognition the only emotions that I could recognize. The rest flew to fast across her face, but the last I knew by heart. Hate shone so clear from her eyes, as she stared right over my shoulder where I knew Sam stood. _

"_What do you want?" I demanded. I wanted to get far away from this feeling that she was bringing out in me. It frightened me that Bella, _Bella, _could do… whatever she was doing to my body. I love her dearly, but I'm confused._

"_I want to talk to you." Was her reply, shaking slightly. _

"_Go ahead." I growled._

"_Alone!" She hissed back at me with so much malice, that I didn't think it was possible for such a small human to be that animalistic. My beast approved whole heartedly. I pushed it back down with all that I had in me; _She isn't mine. _I thought, and my beast replied, she will be _ours.

I couldn't bear to remember the rest. My heart still ached of how I had ended this so harshly, and ended up as I am now. If I had not left, she would be just like the tree that I had destroyed. She would be mangled and destroyed beyond recognition.

"Jacob, something's happened at the Swan's place. I need you to get here pronto." Sam's voice reached me through my nightmare, but it took a few seconds for it to register in my mind.

_Bella!_

I took off into the direction of Bella's house, images of what could have happened running through my mind. I watched through Sam's mind as he walked up to Bella's home, sniffing around.

"Leech," Sam spoke, "Bella's scent is mixed in with the scent of a leech. It smells like… the one we've been hunting." I growled in response, pushing at myself to go faster. I needed to reach her house.

_**This chapter is very important, but at the same time, not very much… =) It's kind of like a filler, because I just had to write a short chapter from Jacob's POV. You'll see later on why it's important (*HINT= You read it in this chapter)**_


	5. The Beast Awakes

_**Music that helped create this chapter: **__Going Under _by Evanescence, _Bring Me to Life _by Evanescence, _Sandman _by Metallica, _STARSTRUKK _by 3OH!3, _143 _by Ray J, _Our Truth _by Lacuna Coil, _Good Enough _by Evanescence, _Hip Hop Radio, _

_**XxX I dedicate this chapter to my Big Sis, who I love dearly and gave me some really great ideas for this story! Without her, this chapter would not turn out like it's going to, so give some props to **_Kai_**, a.k.a: **__psychotic cherry blossom __**(Just take out the spaces) XxX I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KAI-CHAN!**_

***Stephanie Meyer Owns***

"_Before I tell you my story, _

_you must understand that there are places in _our _world, Bella, _

_where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, _

_and not centuries."_

_-Jasper Whitlock_

_Eclipse_

**-Jasper POV-**

I quickly decided to head back to where I came from. _Ran from, you mean, _my beast corrected me, smugly. I ignored him, and decided that I had more pressing matters to think about. Like, the passing scenery.

My feet barely made a sound as a quickly made my way back towards Bella's home. It was still dark out, but it was no problem for this vampire. I could clearly see the trees that I passed, though I'm sure no human could see them; since humans could _not _move as fast as I.

I pondered over her letter to pass the time; it's not as if I could think of anything else at the moment. Bella swarmed my thoughts, like an army of bees inside of their hive; they're everywhere you look, in every crook and cranny, you can't _not _see them. _You're associating my woman to _bees_, _my beast growled. I reminded it, non to gently, that she was indeed _not _his woman.

My mind turned back to the issue at hand.

It seemed as if Bella decided to… _kill herself. _

I mentally went over a paragraph that jumped out at me;

_By the time you get this letter, I will no longer be here. I can't live by myself. I am weak. I'm too weak to continue on. Please do not blame yourself. It is not your fault. You tried your best, and everyone expects the worst out of you. They must protect you, just like how I was protected. Well, no longer._

Her letter was obviously written before Victoria showed up and kidnapped her, but I just couldn't see Bella doing something that _stupid._ "That's impossible;" I spoke to myself aloud, as if to make what I said real, "Bella wouldn't do that. She has her father and her friends." I reasoned with myself.

But the evidence was to convincing; _they must protect you, just how I was protected. Well, no longer. _I could feel the anger she felt when she wrote this simple sentence. Just 13 words, and the defiance, anger, and depression was _pouring _out and soaked right into my chest.

_Love makes you blind, do you not remember? _My beast whispered. _You blindly followed that 'girl' that you forced yourself to love; I told you not to follow her, but you did. Now see where it has ended._

"Shut up! I did love, _do love, _Alice!" I growled in anger, mad at myself and it for my stumble in my words. _I do love Alice. _I told myself over and over, but in the back of my mind, or maybe it was my beast whispering words, I wondered why I had to reassure myself of my love. My feet faltered at its response.

_You can lie to yourself all that you want, but do not dare lie to me! I am the one who assured our survival when we were under control of that conniving bitch! Was it not I who you turned to when you had to kill? Was it not I who had to take control when you had to change a 'poor soul'? I am your true self; you can never lie to me! Even when you were with the 'love of your life', all you thought about was our woman. _

_Remember the first day she came to us? Remember the hunger, _not blood-lust;_ that is what they wanted you to believe; you forced me down, when you should have let me run free! She would be safe right now if you had, but you ignored me. I recognized her for what she truly is. She is mine, _ours_! _

_I know your deepest fantasies, your deepest pains, your deepest pleasures… And what you _truly _want. You desire the one you track right now, feel it from me, and see the fantasies that you want to happen! _

I felt my beast crash over me, swallow me up whole and I fell face first into the darkness. My beast had completely overtaken my body; I felt surprise at this. I thought I had conquered it long ago, but it was just lying in wait for just the right moment to strike. I had no time to think over what it had told me, just enough time to notice the white light racing up towards me, and then I could see nothing.

"_Jasper," _her voice whispered, carried by the slight wind that was blowing. Her voice was very faint, as if she was miles away, and she might have been if not for the _thump, thumping_ of her racing heart. She stood not even five feet from my form; but there was another person here, beside's myself. Vampire, I deduced, since there was no heart beat, but I could distinguish faint footsteps walking towards Bella.

My eyes snapped open, and I lurched upwards into a sitting position. I noticed that it took longer than it normally would and that everything was… _white_, but the thought quickly fled my thoughts as I saw who was calmly walking towards Bella, with an emotion that I had seen many times before, on my face especially, because it was _me _who was walking towards her. _But that is impossible! _My mind screamed at me, but it wasn't because it stood right before me, as if it was an apparition.

I sat dumb founded, with my mouth wide open I'm sure, as I watched _myself _continue walking to Bella. I looked closer at _it, _trying to find a difference between it and myself, but I found none. He had the same curly blonde hair that hung in his face, exactly what mine did. He had the same crooked nose, not noticeable, unless you purposefully look for it.

I saw the scars along his arms, criss crossing until barely an inch of smooth, un-altered skin was showing. His body frame was the same as mine; slim, a swimmer's body as many describe me, but muscles lurking underneath the skin. You don't notice them until they use them. He wore a shirt that I would wear; a light blue button-up shirt, and a comfortable looking pair of blue jeans. It was as if he is my… Twin?

Every step that my apparition took the closer he got to Bella and the easier it was to notice the love that shown from him. He seemed to glow with the emotion, and Bella was exactly the same.

I've never seen Bella smile that big before. It was more welcoming than when she smiled around Edward; it was as if she was showing her true self. Her blush was still there, but it did not bring out my hunger, which I thought was strange. She wore a simple white shirt, which was so much like Bella, that I couldn't help but smile.

She wore a pair of worn out jeans, faded on the knees and the back of her thighs. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, not as breath taking with her hair down, but it didn't seem to mind. I noticed that with her hair up, her neck was left bare and ready for the taking. I tensed slightly as I watched him step closer to her, but it seemed as if I couldn't move.

I had nothing to worry about though; it seemed as if my _twin _had the same immunity that I have for her blood.

He reached for her hand, and she gave it willingly to him, not flinching from the cold, marble-like skin that we have. She took a step forward into his chest, sinking into him, it that was possible. I heard her sigh of contentment, and listened as her heart seemed to calm slowly. It was as if being in his arms made her feel safe.

I could not see her face, but I was staring straight at myself and he was staring right back, but not as if he could _see _me.

His arms wrapped around Bella, holding her to himself as if she would suddenly disappear from him. I tried to sense what Bella was feeling, but I came up blank. As if there was a block surrounding them that nothing could get through.

I watched, transfixed, as Bella drew back slightly and raised her head. He looked down at the same time, as if they were speaking mentally, and stared into her eyes. Bella raised her head slightly, while he lowered his head at the same time. Their lips stopped centimeters away from each other; time seemed to freeze for a few seconds, and then their lips touched.

I don't know who moved those last few inches, but I was… mesmerized by the consequences of it. It was like a tornado that had been unleashed after a long time of _almost _touching, of _almost _being formed until it happened. There was so much passion in that one kiss, that seemed to last forever, but only lasted for a few minutes.

Their lips mashed together, both crushing each other against their chests, so that not even the wind could come between them; Bella's hands creeped up my twins back, tangling into his hair, tugging at it slightly. I heard the echo of the growl he made, and then she was on her back with him on top of her.

He let go of her lips, reluctantly I noticed, and while she gasped for air, he slowly kissed down her neck stopping over her jugular. He nibbled on that spot, while Bella tried to catch her breath, but she couldn't because she was mewling her pleasure, egging him on.

I watched, horrified, but slightly aroused, as _I_, for I now understood that this was myself; what I fantasized about daily ever since I met her; drew my lips back and showed her my glistening teeth, slick with my venom.

Bella stared up at me, as I found myself face-to-face with her, lying on top of her as I watched myself do not seconds before. The most surprising thing was… I felt love toward this slight, frail, fragile human who lay beneath me transfixed with my eyes.

I watched, waiting for her to push me away, dreading the moment because I knew she would. Who could love me? My scars marked me for what I was, a _monster. _But I was shocked once again by her when she put her arms around my neck and drew me down.

I rested fully on top of her, my face resting right against her neck. I inhaled and tasted her unique scent that made me crazy for her. Lilac, I thought idly, is my new favorite smell.

"_Please, Jasper," _She whispered, longing clearly in her voice, _"I want to be yours, until the sun explodes and the world ends; even afterwards. Please change me." _I was filled with an emotion that I didn't recognize, which is saying something since I am an empath.

I fought with myself, but just another _please _from Bella, and my control snapped completely. I snuggled my face into the crook of her neck, and inhaled her beautiful scent once last time before I sunk my venomous teeth into her pale flawless skin.

Her luscious blood flooded my mouth, making my taste buds do the Mariana Dance in joy. I gulped down mouthful after mouthful of her essence, and forced as much venom into her as I could. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be to draw back from her, but I did not dwell on that fact.

After I sealed the wound in her neck, I made my way down to her wrists and proceeded to bite both and shove even more venom into her frail body. By then I knew she should be moaning in pain, but she didn't make a sound, she did not move either.

I felt admiration for her, more than I did before. I quickly finished, so as to not cause her any more pain than I knew she was in, even if she was putting on a brave front.

I tried once again to see if I could feel her emotions, but I still came up with a blank. I started to panic, worrying if something had gone wrong, my new feelings causing me to lose my clear head, and think of all of the scenarios that could happen.

My vision started to dim on the edges as my panic rose even higher. I grasped my love's hand, which lay limp on her stomach. I laid down next to her, spooning against her side. I rested my head lightly against her chest and heard the calming sound of her heart as it _thump-thu-thumped _its rhythm in a steady beat.

My vision continued to disintegrate, more quickly now. I hung dearly to Bella's hand, my head still laid against her chest. When my vision went completely, I could still hear her heart. It slowly started to fade until I could hear it no longer.

When I opened my eyes, I yet again found myself in a strange place.

_Do you still think "Alice" is your mate? _A familiar voice asked. _Do not try to lie to me again._

I did not answer him; instead I asked my own question. "Where in the _hell _did you take me?" I looked around and didn't recognize any of the surroundings. In the distance I heard the distinct sound of engines. I listened closer, and figured out that they were airplanes. The only airport from Forks for miles is the one in Port Angeles.

_While you were 'occupied', I decided to follow my woman's scent. It leads to that airport that you hear. _He calmly spoke, as if nothing were wrong.

_Now, answer my question. Do you still wish to lie to yourself? And to me? As I told you before, I am the true you and I know you better than anyone; even yourself. _

I grew angry at this voice that I could not escape. I did not have to answer his stupid question, so I didn't. I turned toward the direction of the airport. When I was just about to start running, its voice whispered through my mind once more, _how did it feel to finally receive what you have desired?_ And then, all was silent in my mind.

Without my permission, my mind came up with millions of answers; joy, happiness, elation, love, hope, longing, and fear. I feared that type of devotion with someone beside's my Alice; I just didn't know what to feel at the moment, so I just shoved it in the back of my mind, to look over later.

I took a few running steps, and that's when I smelled the foul stench. _Werewolves _live in Port Angeles. This is just _great. _I heard thudding paws from behind me, so I slowly turned around and decided right then and there that I would fight them. But it sounded like it was a lone wolf that was coming towards me.

It skidded to a halt behind a group of trees, and I felt it when they phased to their human form. Don't ask me how it felt, it just felt wrong. It grew silent for a few minutes and then I heard the rustling of clothes. I heard the crunch of leaves under their feet as the quickly made their way into my line of sight.

I recognized him immediately. "What do you want, filthy mutt." I hissed, not really caring what he wanted, as long as he left _now. _

His shoulder's were tensed, his hands clenched into fists, his veins sticking out sickly; I watched as a muscle twitched above his left eye, and as he clenched and un-clenched his jaw. He slowly released his lock-jaw, and I wished he hadn't answered.

"You filthy leech, you know why I'm here. Now, hand over Bella, and you don't have to die." Jacob answered, crouching down in a offensive stance.

_You won't get my mate, you filthy fucking mongrel! _My beast roared its response. I could feel as it tried to gain control of my body once again, but it was too weak from earlier to successfully take over again.

Now, what do I do with the mutt?


End file.
